A Tatar feminist poetess that lived and wrote 100 years ago Giffat Tutash left her family and home at the age of 20 as a protest against them prohibiting her to write, and wrote an open letter to her mother later sharing her pain.  The poem “Яра” [jara] is describing a similar conflict of authoress‘s poetic feminist activist identity reflected in their texts, and the expectations that their traditionalist and muslim part of the family has towards their poetry and behavior. With her upbringing and the fact that she lost her closest family and those left are the only ones connecting her to the memories of mom, dad and abika, and she loves them, authoress can’t get into a direct conflict in fear of losing them, and have to censor herself or hide under pseudonyms. It gets more acute now when authoress write in the language she speaks to them, and them being almost the only people she speak Tatar to.  One hundred years ago the reason for that conflict was a traditional female role, nowadays it’s a dictatorship in russia and an invasion into Ukraine: “don’t write about politics, about Ukraine, don’t criticize the government”.   Яра — рана, the wound (tatar) Яратам — люблю, I love (tatar) Тут — here, там — there (russian) Авыр — тяжело, hard Авырта — it hurts, болит Матур кыз бул! — be a nice girl  Бу турында язма, Теге турында язма — don’t write about this, don’t write about that  Яз — spring, весна Көз — autumn, осень Төз — build/decide on! строй/выбирай Тормышыңны — your life/свою жизнь  кыз — girl